Agent Provocateur

It had been a long time coming. The days had turned into years. The agency had nearly forgotten. Worse, she started to believe. The memories were fading quick. Even the mentor had eased up on the advice of late. Everyone had grown busy and were just doing what needed to be done. For sure, the skills weren’t rusty yet, it’s not the kind of thing you forget. It’s just different now.

The concept had been simple. He adds. She multiplies. Everyone wins. However simple the math, the English of it was going the way of history. Elocution had given way to routine just like passion was giving way to stats and processes. It was just the way it had to be. After all, change is inevitable, the evil genius had snickered. Wait, there is an evil genius?

To the world, she was just simply known affectionately as Kat. He was just Jim. Nothing more complex than two office workers in two different industry working hard to keep the lights on. It wasn’t always like that, you know. There was a time when the mere mention of her name made several smile, for her kindness was legend around these parts. Many nodded with approval whenever Jim would drive around the way, for he was one of the rarest of gentlemen that society was no longer mass producing.

When the news broke that the two were going to join forces, everyone wanted to be there and see for their own eyes. Even the forces of the evil genius wanted to come and celebrate.

But wait, who?

An evil genius?

There is a part of town, one where sadness seems to fill the air as desperation of settling into life crushes dreams and spits out dread. In that part of town, no one knew of Kat, they knew of the special agent. Agent Provocateur. The woman who drove flaming sparks of life into life hardened souls. She moved about and created stir. Men gazed and revived their spirits. Women scampered about frantically seeking assistance from the great evil genius. Fear gripped their minds as they couldn’t manage to invigorate the men they had.

But yet, these same women longed for Jim. Only he wasn’t known as Jim. He was just Don. The man who knew how to lift his eyebrow ever so slightly. Just slight enough to go unnoticed by the young naive gals of the town. But the women, they knew. He had the power to move the ground beneath their feed and sends seismic shocks through regions long gone cold from disuse. Don was the man who drove pristinely about leaving a wake of lust in his dust.

The evil genius was just misunderstood. He had a very special unique mission. Get people to cooperate with the march of time and move the economy forward. All that leisurely strolling about and gazing in foolish fawning was not in keeping with the plan. He had devised the best solution package. He called them children. These little packages of dynamic hunger would address the need to gaze and goo and gah. The women would have their hearts filled with instincts that made them work harder to give more to these small pint-sized adults. Their sole defect was insatiable hunger for feelings that the women eagerly doled out in droves

The plan was pure evil. The men would compete foolishly to show other men they could add more value to the pot of needs these children would soak in. The pride in gallantries was redirected in corporate raiding and the silly notions of pesky love was slowly being eradicated from the perfect town.

The evil genius had one small little problem. OK, two really. These perfect pint size humans grew too fast and started loving back. No, that was not the plan. And to make matters worse, they had a stage where they got star gaze fever and believed all kinds of lies called romance. Some grew to be like Don and others like Agent Provocateur. Thankfully, they rarely teamed together and ignited disastrous passions for each other that was highly contagious.

His real problem was the second variety. Agent Provocateur and Don had teamed up once and had nearly bankrupted the society with their stupid regaling and celebrating humanity’s ability to connect on spiritual and emotional levels of depths unhealthy for open discussion. Even the genius evil plan to introduce base tools of crass reputations such as handcuffs and gags proved ineffectual at taming Don. Worse, the evil genius learned that Don knew how to wield a whip so effectively it spurred on more powers into Agent Provocateurs already lethal arsenal of leather, boots, and nylon.

The whole society rejoiced when the announcement was made that Jim and Kat announced they were having children. Little did anyone know that this would sideline Don and Agent Provocateur and usher the era of melancholy. The town was missing their heroes. They needed a reason to have legitimate spice. Many stepped up to fill the void, but none understood the process like Don and Provocateur. Souls were aching and getting hurt as they lacked the spark only those two could generate.

In a moment of pure luck, Jim asked Kat to go for a drive for old-time sake. Just to revisit the ways of old. They rarely worked the night on the town together much. And when they had joined forces, most of the sheet burning activities happened behind closed doors. This was new. They were going out for a drive in the car as a couple for the first in a very long while. No Don. No Agent Provocateur. Just two hearts wanting to reconnect and remember what it was like to be.

Jim readied the car. It was a warm night. The top had to be down. They weren’t to go far or fast, her hair wouldn’t be messed with. Plus, his new contraption that looked great and fancy directed the air such that her hair wouldn’t be tossed about haphazardly. His eyes ignited with a long-lost fire as his throat cleared with a manly guttural vibrato both had not heard in a while. She was ravenously heavenly. In a fitted short black dress with a generous slip up the front, Jim recognized the articles of war. The Agent Provocateur branded ensemble that breathed life into his soul. Don was back.

As Kat slid into her seat, she puzzled at the heat she felt radiate across the car. As she checked her phone a last time to make sure there was no urgencies from the agency watching her children, she saw a text that puzzled her.

“You. Oh you. You are the sweetest touch in that man’s life keeping him alive as you provoke love and happiness. Thank you for caring, dear Agent”

That’s when she understood why her man kept his hand on her lap as he drove his car slowly about town with that silly near stupid grin and smirk on his face. She was his power just as much as he was hers. Agent Provocateur was back.

This time, the evil genius was going to pay for his insolence. And he would be conquered and banished. But first, Jim and Kat had a date. There was some clothing that had to be torn asunder and hearts to set on fire. Of course, this would take place back in the Palace, also known as the cave… but after they both enjoyed a quiet ride together, enjoying their company only as they knew best how to do.

Photo credit to the lovely @cattdii who generously shared her photos off her Instagram account to facilitate the telling of this story. It is a total fictional piece of writing that is not reflective of any of her personal life or anyone she knows….nor that of anyone known to the author.  Any resemblance is purely coincidental and not intentional. Thank you!

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