The Healing through Heeling
My view of myself did improve over time. The chase to understand why I was so lucky kept me reading and learning more about the art of photography. That’s how I learned of a few authors who made successful careers out of taking photos of heels. Several big time art books featured many of the various styles of heels the market produced.
I was even asked, once to participate in an international event for a fashion designer. I sadly didn’t take the invitation. I was still battling my own self confidence and self-worth issues. Oh well. Live and learn.
The nature of friendships changed. Some said “you’re more relaxed of late, that’s really cool”. But no one ever said “why do you find women sexy and talk about how sexy they are”.
Yup. My mindset was being reset.
The more accepting of myself I became, the more people opened up to me. The more I practice the lessons I was learning, the more people shared of themselves. For the record, there were some who couldn’t deal with the changes. I lost friendships. Some struggled to understand how I was so ‘complex’ and why all theses secrets were now accessible. Some even wondered if I was in denial of a secret shame. Nope. No such thing. No such luck for them.
Side note… I don’t view these lost friendships as if “they were never real friends to begin with”. Instead, I just see these folks as the friends for that season of my life and I simply outgrew them. I wish the well. And I’m moving on.
My photography improved massively. Several long time readers of the blogs have graciously given a lot of their time to help me build up my photography (another blog that I’m working on). It’s been a very rewarding journey.
Because I started to accept my artsy side, I uncovered a passion I never knew I had. Writing. I am able to take any number of ideas/images and use that as a foundation to build a character, a story, an experience through words. I now have a few ideas that will eventually become books (one this year hopefully and the rest in years to come).
The less I fought with myself to hide my own sexuality, the better a person I became. The more comfortable others got around me. By the way, yes… I’m very much straight… very much the gentleman… very much the guy who treats ladies as his sister. Some things change, but some stay the same. Today, I’m no longer scared of the fact that I don’t live exclusively inside a vanilla box nor feel the need to put anyone into a vanilla box. (very much a monogamous man with my wife)
I love my conservative side though. Helps me stay focused and get blogging on a regular basis. I love my more liberal leanings because it allows me to be very creative in all my artsy sides (music, photography, and writing)
And now the blog…
I’m not cured of my struggle. I’m not held back by my struggle. I took the liberties of ‘exaggerating’ a few facts to make my point across as a fiction writer. I still withhold a lot of me and share as little of me as possible online (yes… it’s a delusion… the search engines know way more than I care for… but such is life)
I still struggle with most posts to share a photo from my heel photography days. While I do share them on my social media, I don’t yet feel super comfortable with accepting the very brand I created lol. Crazy, I know. I share this tidbit because a mentor helped me understand that the process of acceptance and greatness involves leaning into your insecurities. This lean allows you to make progress, gain strength, and create art. Even when feeling less than certain. (creative types are so self-critical)
I also struggled with certainty. One can’t create without a degree of uncertainty. It’s part of the process. If I had not faced my uncertainty, I would not be on the verge of publishing my first novel this year. I wouldn’t be the photographer I am today. I wouldn’t be the musician I am today. I would not be connecting with people on the levels I do today. I wouldn’t have the love of my life by my side today.
I felt the need to let folks know that no matter how confident my writing reads… I’m human and am a harsh critic of myself. However, this does not stop me from creating content for you to enjoy. (over half a million words and counting in the past 12 months alone across several platforms). Lesson. Lean into your fears. Get out of your comfort zone. You may just surprise yourself and enjoy the new scenery. I know I am.
The blog has changed over time. It focuses more on love, relationships, making romance work. Having all the photos revolve around fashion with heels at the center… just doesn’t feel right. What does feel right? Later, when I can resume doing photos, I will have more romance themes, more couples, more love inspired photos… to go along with the heel pix I periodically share.
The fan favorite story-lines will return. New concepts explored. New motivational content created. And just like some of the early beloved stories that were heel inspired… you got it… there will be more of those too.
The popular advice for bloggers is to infuse themselves into their blog. Let people know who you are. This will draw the right tribe to you. They’re right. Baby steps seem to work just fine for me.
What I will say is this… by accepting myself, I’ve become a better more relaxed person. I am more connected and able to be more empathetic. I don’t waste time berating myself and forcing myself to act like I don’t have feelings.
I’m in a much better place now that I know people don’t care nearly as much about my interests as I once thought. And I have friends who share my interests now that they know what those interests are.
The biggest takeaway I want for my readers is this… the right mindset makes all the difference in the world. A lot of pain can be fixed and addressed when the mindset is adjusted. Introspection, meditation, coaching, exposure, and other sources of insights are very helpful in the process.
The blog is called “Love’s Perspective”. One has to embrace oneself, love oneself as one is. Then, the real progress of growth can be sustained. Much like I had to overcome my limiting beliefs, we all have to do some work on ourselves to improve. Greater access to happiness, joy, contentment, and life satisfaction happens when we’re not carrying tons of limiting beliefs. Those can trip any person up and create more pain than is necessary.
The shackles of inaccurate world views is dividing homes, neighbors, towns, states, and countries. When mindsets are adjusted to more complete and wholesome beneficial views, everyone wins. Just because one person changes their mindset does not mean they stop being true to themselves. Quite the contrary. One is more free to be authentic, more real, more themselves.
In love, being as authentic and real as possible is the ticket to solid connections with others who are just as real and authentic. It sets the tone for win-win solutions. With everyone comfortable in their own skin as they grow through barriers and outside their comfort zones, magic happens. In that magic, love blooms bright. Go for your romantic win-win solution by breaking down the barriers of limiting beliefs.
Had I not embraced all of myself, there are a lot of experiences I would have missed. A lot of new art I wouldn’t have created. A lot more impact I would not be participating in.
Gives new meaning to the expression “let your light shine”.
Find healing in embracing yourself, loving yourself, and seeing yourself for who you are. Then, grow to where you want to be. This will probably be a game changing move for many. For those who already have done so, congrats. And be sure not to slip backwards either. At least not too far… and not without a plan to resume going forward again.
Until we meet again, stay well healed.