Been doing a bit of thinking lately. My path as a writer has been challenged. I’ve got a newborn at home. You’d think with a baby asleep most of the day…you’d get work done while you’re on leave. Nope. Most of my time is devoted to child care of some variety.
I don’t have the luxury of smooth continuous sleep. Plus, I’m one of those guys who believes in helping raise his own children. After all, I’m the reason why they’re there….even though my wife did most of the work.
Can a newborn destroy romance?
In short, yes and no. More no than yes.
Too many people are quick to blame their children for the lack of romance in their home. Reality is this….children will challenge your sense of time. That’s all.
If you can’t adjust to their presence…how will you tech the, to adjust to the various demands on their time as they grow up?
They need a lot of time to be nurtured and raised. However, that does not mean that there is no time for the relationship.
Boils down to priorities. Do we make the time for each other or do we assume we are ok because we have history together.
Without feeding the relationship, it will starve and die. We blame the children…needlessly.
Life is no longer the same. A child is a massive challenge that can be adjusted for. Many have before us, many will after us.
The choice to end romance ultimately is up to us. We can let it end by being unfocused on it or we can make a choice to end it. Obviously, few parents make plans to end romance at the news of a newborn. Some, sadly do…but that is a different story.
By the way, the choice to keep romance Alice…is still orient…and highly recommended by this blog.
So…how do I keep my romance alive?
Boring good old fashioned planning. Plan a date once a month…plan a few minute to chat lovingly with your partner once a week. Doesn’t have to be over the top or crazy. Just has to be done.
Romance thrives on connection. Keep your connection alive by investing a few minutes here and a few minutes there… they add up.
Not only will your romance appreciate it, the newborn will feel they’re thriving in a loving environment…which is good for their development…which…is the main reason why parents neglect their spouse to begin with…to create a loving experience for the newborn.
I’m not saying this is easy. I’m the guy who had to put writing on hold and is resorting to using his tablet or phone to jot notes for a blog post whenever there is a few minutes of silence…i.e…in the car after dropping off a child…before rushing back to the newborn.
The balance has shifted. But the romance needs not surfer. My wife has done a great job of keeping our romance alive this pregnancy. It is a team effort. I’m doing my part too…but…I’m truth…she really is doing s fantastic job. Gotta give her due credit
Ok. Time to wrap up. No time to edit. Gotta go back to daddy mode.
A newborn does not need to spell the end of romance. It just means romance just graduated to a more sophisticated level of play.
Until next time…keep your romance alive and well by doing a little every day and a bit more every week ….and something even bigger once a money.