There are three types of handcuffs. Doesn’t matter the material they come in. There are the ones law enforcement uses, the ones a person plays with, and the figurative ones.
No matter the camp you subscribe to, most all adults are aware of two of the three varieties. You’ll hear it in conversations and in jokes. People don’t often want the law cuffing them, but the open season for cuffing a mate is often confusing to older folks who rather just tie their mate to the headboard.
In light of all the games the web often plays on people, let’s take a moment to explore the figurative cuffs, at least a few of them anyway.
Ball and Chain Cuffs
Many people assume wrongly that in long term relationships, the partner is committed to keep their interest ahead of that of their own. The lack of freedom to be oneself and to do one’s bidding often comes up in this type of handcuff situation.
Reality is a bit different. Many times, the chain doesn’t get secured until one person gives the other reason to tighten the grip for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes, for the person’s own good, one person has to be the adult. Sadly, that burden seems to fall all too often on women.
Guys, let’s man up a bit here. Not fair that women have to keep raising us and babying us. Granted, in most qualified circles of life, these overgrown boys don’t get much respect from gentlemen who know better than to burden their wives with needless worry. Thankfully, discerning women don’t give these boys in men’s clothing the time of day.
If you’re in a situation where you feel you’ve got the ball and chain cuffed to your hands or legs, it’s time to sit, talk, re-evaluate things. Not for the purposes of a break up, but for the purposes of realigning values so that freedom is restored.
This happens by building up trust and making sure there is transparency in the relationship. When one lives up to one’s word, trust follows and there is no need to anchor your movements.
In the working world, many find their jobs to be golden handcuffs. They find that after years of hard work, they can’t break free and live.
Going to top expensive schools to get a ton of debt to land a great job to pay off that debt to get a mortgage to show off that job to have to work extra hours to pay off that debt to refinance later to get things you don’t care for…
Clink Clink the Golden Handcuffs has you on lock for a whole career. Now, you’re neglecting your lover, forcing them to become roommates of yours against their will, just so you can go to fancy restaurants you can’t afford to prove to them and others that you’re still lovers.
Antidote is not simple
Saying live within your means is very simple but not realistic. Instead, be patient with the need to acquire material wealth to prove a point to people who could careless as they’ve got their own points to prove to other people.
Save. Plan ahead. Keep your love hot. In fact, get creative with your experiences so that instead of an expensive boat, you’re spending time in a nice bedroom learning the topography of your lover’s body.
Plan ahead for dates, save for those dates, then, enjoy each other during those dates. In time, the other things will be paid for with money saved instead of debt against money not yet earned.
Inspiration for this post – Golden Handcuffs
There is someone who is ever so sweet to this author with great inspirational photos and quotes. They posted a photo about a pair of golden handcuffs next to their heels. They love heeling around beautiful adventures.
This particular photo brought about the reality that many chase after things that cost a lot but don’t mean a lot. Sometimes, instead of cuffing oneself to debt, pause and step out of the box… try to be smart about what you want to get so that you’re enjoying the journey as much as the destination
In the photo, which will be shared with this post at the end (as well as the cover image) the cuff is locked on one end and open on the other. We have the choice and freedom to move about and do as we want with our circumstances (within reason of course… external factors excluded)
Do leave an exit option. A point where one can escape and recharge batteries to face the rat race. And most importantly, never ever forget where the keys are in the event of an early exit is needed. Stay in charge. Stay the boss of your life. Stay in control of the destiny of your love.
What really stood out in the photo, the heels were placed on top of the cuffs. Wherever you opt to go in your journey, remember, it is you who makes the choices in your journey, not the cuffs. Always step above the limits others want to impose on you. Keep your options open. Especially when you live in an environment where you’ve got options. (Certain economies and governments don’t allow that… this blog doesn’t ignore that reality)
The only thing worth locking up with golden handcuffs is moments of play. Moments of fun. Moments of memories. Lock them up in a safe place to share with others to inspire and feed their soul. Lock them up safe where you love can bloom and your relationship prosper.
In other words, jealously protect your love’s perspective so that it can continue to bloom and grow in the way that is most beneficial to you and your partner. Lock out all other negative influences.
Golden Handcuffs are just tools not masters of destiny.
Thank you @HeelingAround of Instagram for the inspiration, the chats, the photo, and the idea for this post. Looking forward to more ideas and inspiration from you in the future.