this blog post is inspired by a quote seen on social media – “Be not deceived… feeling bad about yourself feels so good” – sometimes finding love can be vexing to say the least… and those moments, it is tempting to sit and wallow in misery wondering how horrible one has gotten. Those are the moments to cut short… find a way out… because staying put will suck you into a hole that will only make matters worse… all while feeling good about feeling bad.
Will was besides himself. There was a pattern he couldn’t figure out and it was costing him his social life. The man couldn’t get the right feedback to understand how he was striking out so horribly of late. Before giving up, Will took a moment to clear his calendar so he could think this through.
For starters, Will had been very good at growing any social network he wanted. The man had a gift for drawing people to him. He had enjoyed much success and was pleased with his progress. At one point, he had considered doing a series online to teach other guys how to get any woman they wanted, as his track record seemed to speak for itself. He held back because the inevitable question of closing the deal would come up. Will was not one to sleep about and around, thanks to being so religious.
Where things took a turn for the worse, best he could figure, was when he took time off to go back to school. Will had been trying to move up the career ladder and had gotten a bit stuck. The only way to move up from a blue collar into a white collar seat at this company was through the required schooling.
The program initially was supposed to be two years but ended up sucking five out of his life. Not that it bothered him much, Will stayed the course and pushed on through. The one thing he probably should not have done was cut himself off so much from the people he knew.
Now, on the other side of the degree, Will was finally back on track with where he wanted his career to go. But now, the social life needed a make-over. He needed to make new friends and build up his tribe… as one of his teachers had mentioned.
Somehow during the time away from the social scene, Will had forgotten a lot of moves. Or so it felt. He was striking out more than connecting. While that was bad enough as it was, there was something else that really annoyed him.
Will started connecting with other high achievers and things would work well. Actually, nearly too good to be true. The sharing was mutual. The engagement of chats was dynamic and brilliant. He was finding his dream network of soul mate connections. Instant hits. Instant bonds. Instant fast friendships.
Sadly, nearly weeks to months after the intense connection, the people started to peel away and pull back. At first, very subtly. Then more overtly. One lady took the time to sit him down and have a friendship breakup speech about how it was not him but it was her and that she needed space to explore other friendships and that she only wished him the very best in his search for close friends.
That made absolutely no sense to Will. Why would someone have an official breakup talk and there was no romance involved? Was he selecting crazy people or was he missing something?
At first, Will wrote this off to just being rusty in the social settings. But when some of the guys he hung out started distancing themselves the same weird way, there was no way to avoid this. Will was or had to be the source of the problem. But how to figure this out?
With the exception of the one lady who broke up with him from being friends, he had no other data to work on. The friendships he currently was holding on to just fine were the ones that predated his schooling efforts. Those were the friendship he had maintained. That circle had dwindled to just a few, and while that was fine, it was not enough.