On Facebook, a few people got on a lovely conversation. Who shovels the snow?
Yeah. That’s the question of discussion that’s prompting this post. The answer should not be that difficult, however, the way the discussion ran, one would think there was a crisis of understanding.
Who shovels the snow?
Background: Let’s start with paraphrasing the post that was on Facebook. Get everyone up to speed. A lady was asking for a friend about who’s responsibility it was to shovel the snow. In part, because the friend was single… as was the lady making the status update. The inferred conclusion was that a perk of marriage was not having to remove snow anymore.
This is not the first time this discussion has flown on Facebook. This is way too telling about the types of people I follow on there, as this may not be the norm in any other gathering of friends elsewhere.
The large majority of responses said that it was the guy’s job to shovel the snow. Many advised single ladies to be very wary of any boyfriend who did not make it his business to travel over and remove snow for you… as this was indicator of what kind of husband he could potentially be.
But let me not digress.
Are there set gender roles in this modern day? Sadly, yes. There are. But they vary greatly geographically. In the Western societies (defined by those of European descent that experience economic prosperity today) the roles of the genders has become a bit less strict. Women are finally starting to get some degree of parity with their male counterparts. There is a huge push to eliminate all gender based disadvantages women face. This blog supports this on the grounds of human rights. People are people and are equal.
With this understanding, let’s address the question of snow removal. Not touching the science and well documented athletic records that have shown that women fair much better in the cold than men… and not slighting the fact that women are far more aware of how cold is than guys are… ie.. They feel colder faster than guys…
Who should remove snow
One woman in the discussion said it best. The able body adult who needs to have the snow removed should be removing the snow. The supporting information pointed out to the husband’s deteriorating health and her lack of loss of health made her the prime candidate to remove the snow.
Some others said it should be a team effort or even a family effort. After all, the snow covered everything and everyone needs to get out and about.
This blog, ie me, will not say which way is correct, as it will vary from family to family.
So…why this post then??
Why I shared this post… fair enough… is because of a few extra comments that both made me laugh and also made me sad. There is some weird understanding of boundaries that goes on between the genders that…kinda needs to be address.
One of the women explained that fellas should be more than happy to be gentlemen and shovel the snow for free when a damsel is in distress.
Worse, a lady has the right to expect another guy to jump in and help her man remove the snow if said man is going too slow in removing the snow. While she sits and watch from the comfort of a warm house. However, said man should not be going over to another woman to offer help in removing her snow… even after the removal of snow with help.
The reason given is because… when a man goes help another woman, he’s on the slippery slope to cheating on his lady.
based on the comments in that FB discussion
The story was shared of two guys who were removing snow. A husband and father-in-law team. It was after a particularly brutal snowfall. The two man team got on clearing the snow quite well.
Before going in, a neighbor lady came out with two cups of hot chocolate and asked if the guys could remove the snow for her as she was living alone. She even said that if it was too cold and they needed to take a break, the could ask for more hot chocolate or step in for a moment.
The younger man was about to accept the offer when he caught wind of the look of his father in-laws scowl. He declined the beverage and thanked her for her generosity. The dad-in-law coughed and mumbled something about the time and wife. The man got the hint and declined removing the snow, on the count that he had been out too long and had to check in on dinner.
The wife, who had been watching closely, made it amply clear that she was displeased with how the hubby had nearly accepted the offer. He ended up sleeping on the couch for the night to teach him a lesson in fidelity. Had he accepted to clear out the snow, she would have taken it as an act of infidelity.
What was truly shocking and sad
The amount of people (namely women) who jumped on and clapped at the wife’s efforts to save her marriage was mind blowing. The guy and his wife both clarified that there was never a history of infidelity. Others vouched for them in the discussion. The main offense was that the lady who offered the chocolate was single and of prime marriage age. Every wife on the block was hyper vigilant so that this lady didn’t snag any of the husbands. None of whom had cheated or been accused of cheating (per the Facebook dialogue. Taking all the facts with a grain of salt)
Worse, several men agreed. One can not offer help to a single woman once one is married. One can’t be friends with a single lady once one is married. Women can’t be trusted to not seduce and men can’t be trusted to resist seduction.