So.. The author of the post then asked… who should shovel then if a lady is single and in need of help. The group said… she has to shovel her own self or find another single man who isn’t going to charge too much or expect sex in return for snow removal.
I just can’t. I had to shake my head. I am at a loss to understand this.
Why? I’m a married man. I had no idea there were all these social restrictions. I’m prone to be a good Samaritan by nature. Yet… I’ve had to tone way down because of the security concerns my wife has raised on numerous occasions.
-She’s worried I will get hurt while offering help to a guy – like get robbed
-She’s worried I will create a super fan out of a lady I helped – like have a stacker
(slight poetic exaggerations for literary purposes)
I’m baffled! (Feel free to comment below your thoughts on this)
A tool or a tool
Several women commented that they feel one of the few remaining perks of having a boyfriend is the snow removal talent a boyfriend and husband has to offer. They feel they can do nearly everything else on their own. They don’t need men to do much at all.
Most of these gals have great careers and have very rich active lives. They’ve got side businesses flourishing, they’ve got their kids in all kinds of programs. They’ve got life together. Those who are single have so much going on that you never hear them post about wishing they were married. And when they do post about dating, it’s always about how a guy didn’t measure up and let them down.
Guys are now being viewed as commodities? Tools? Servants? (Dare I go there??)
Being that this topic has been raised a few times on social media, had to take it on with the blog. Partially for humor and partially for educational storytelling.
Who gets to shovel really is a matter of who wants to shovel versus who needs to shovel. Not everyone has a home and not everyone needs to shovel. Not everyone has a car.
When snow removal becomes a concern, division of labor always wins out. The more shovels, the faster the work is done. Obviously, that means a degree of teamwork is necessary to make that an efficient and enjoyable task.
Egos can easily get bruised and some guys feel that snow removal is one of the last places they can show some form of advantage… upper body strength. It’s not that big a deal to most men I talked to, but the edges of a smile/smirk showed itself. Snow removal is one area we don’t get challenged on that much from our ladies.
But, as men age, and sedentary desk jobs weaken the hearts, caution must be taken. Too many men have gone down due to foolish pride. They have asked their physically fit wife to stay in so they could take their unfit-self out and remove snow too quickly. Guys… wizen up. Be smart. Be safe.
Snow removal should not be a gender role thing. That’s the position this blog takes. Many things that have become gender assigned should be reviewed under the lens of… “how is that working for the relationship” mindset.
Some roles are best handled by the person who is most suited to do the role. That could be the dishes done by the man and the finances done by the woman. Societal dictations of roles should not handicap the relationship. It’s your relationship. Adjust to what makes your love bloom and prosper.
And for this thing about snow removal being infidelity… stop the emotional blackmail! Seriously. Shoveling snow is not going to make a man leave his wife or girlfriend. In the event he did stray from removing snow for the neighbor lady, rest assured, there were far more serious problems that went un-addressed well before the first shovel of snow flew.
Better yet, go out and serve your man hot chocolate so the neighbor lady does not have to, and then, as you both help the neighbor out, watch her face to see her reaction when a reasonable fee is levied. That will tell a lot about the intentions she might have had.
Yes, guys may not be as finely tuned at reading body language. However, that does not mean he can’t have friends who are women. Those days are gone.
If women are to benefit from all the work of equality they are pursuing… friendship with other married men has to get sorted out. We aren’t going away yet. We’re not going to be extinct any time soon. If the rule is that married men can’t interact with any other women other than their wives/girlfriend/mother/sister… yeah.. There will be a lot more hilarious and sad Facebook posts to come… and more posts addressing the hilarity.
Lastly… start saving up for a snowblower now for next year. That takes the upper body strength question out of the equation. Most of them have starter buttons and power wheels. Now, anyone old enough can go remove the snow. (this does not take into consideration the urban landscape where snowblowers do not make sense)
Go easy on your love and shed the restrictive traditions that don’t work. Keep those that do. Grow together. And leave the FB commentaries to FB. In the end, FB will not be there to mediate in real time as you both figure out if snow shoveling was actually a sign of infidelity.
could barely keep a straight face for that closing sentence