Most parents, around this time of year, are in full adjustment to the school year regiment. The back to school dance had many spending a ton and rushing all over to get supplies. Now, a week or so into the program, reality is starting to settle back in line.
The children have a daily routine that keeps them busy. Work life has shifted around the homework routine. Waking up early is eating into the sleep routine of some. Life feels back to normal. Or is it?
When Rushing Back To School… don’t forget a love note
For those who are in the wonderful years of teen love, going back to school and meeting up with the person who flutters the heart… is so cool. Or the prospect of meeting that special person, well, it’s awesome.
All the intense emotional charges that rush through the school year as one balances homework and social life, enough to drive a parent crazy.
The people who get lost in the whole shuffle of romance are the very people who gave these teens the life that allows them to have their hearts throbbed.
Who makes the time to have a marital-bliss-check-up a reality? Most parents just cut down on their own romance to make room for the busy schedule of their children.
After all, someone has to run them around from activity to activity. Someone has to work extra hours to pay off the supplies and activities. Someone has to clean up after the children goes to bed. Someone has to wake them up so they don’t go to school late.
All that extra support work eats deeply into the time of romance one had before the children came into the scene.
Don’t Forget a love note
In all this rushing back to school, it pays to remember to leave a love note. The kind that is unexpected. Leave your lady a note in her purse that she will discover later at work. The kind of note that makes her smile and feel special.
Sometimes, leave a note in his iPad carry-pouch. That way, he knows he’s appreciated. Fellas like that as well.
For the super busy parents, those who can’t slow down enough to write a note by hand, text messages still work just fine. Especially with the apps/phones that allow for a delayed delivery of a text. Set it to arrive at a time when your partner will most appreciate it… if you don’t have the time to write it when they’re most likely to read it.
Before someone says… “why should I do that… when they won’t do it for me…” keep in mind… you’re in this relationship as well. If you want to spice things up, you’ve got to do the work. Even if this work is to help them feel motivated to start doing their work as well.
It’s just a quick love note. A quick mention that you care and still value the relationship. Often times, we get so lost in the daily routine that our relationship falls into last place. Do that enough times, the value of the relationship will start to reflect the treatment it is given.
Don’t just assume you work harder than your partner
Some people make the mistake of assuming that their longer hour day means they work harder than their partner. In a society that values being busy and working hard, it’s a logical mistake to make. The reality, the person who gets home first and has to address the needs of the child(ren) often has the most amount of work in the relationship.
Let’s think about it… for those who may not believe. Both parents have to care for themselves. Both have to work on the relationship. Most situations leaves both parents working. So, the one who gets home can’t work on their work stuff until the children are all taken care of. Then, they have to resume working on their work once the child(ren) are asleep.
The partner who arrives late has less time to be with the children before they go to bed, therefore less work, before they resume their career work. So, the parent who is home first, works more in the home, by default of time spent addressing home work, than the one who is out longer. (assuming both leave at the same time in the morning)
For the stay at home parent, it’s well documented how much work you do without help. If it was a paid career, the stay at home parent does enough to warrant a CEO level income. In this post, we aren’t touching single parents.
In order to keep a relationship moving along smoothly during the transition back to school, both parties need to invest time to keep the relationship nourished while the attention is being diverted to the start of school.
Obviously, the work in question is more to maintain the romance and keep the passion alive. The transition back to school means making adjustments and spreading time more thinly across more responsibility. Especially if this back-to-school involves the parent(s) returning back to school themselves.
This blog is encouraging people to purpose in their hearts to do the work of maintaining the romance alive. This practice is not just good for the season of back to school, but any season in which time gets pressured all the more.
This is where the cliche of it’s the little things that count comes into full song. That note. That text. That smile. That lingering pat on the shoulder. All these little things add up to keep the sense of intimacy alive and well when time doesn’t allow for bigger acts like grand dates.
Place a reminder on your phone or calendar to do something sweet this week for your mate. It will keep you top of mind in their lives, it will feel good doing something good, and it will strengthen the relationship through the challenging moments of adjustments.
P.S for the veterans of love, life, and romance, this post may seem a bit trivial. And that can be a good thing. Because you already know it. However, don’t rest comfortable in your knowledge. Just check to make sure you’re applying it. Good intentions gets the ball onto the court. Actions rolls the ball down the court. Thoughtful acts of romance gets the goal.
Cheers to a new school year to all the students out there. Cheers to keeping romance well lit while learning new things through the school of life.