Feminism Changed Our Marriage
This is the first part of three… depicting a fictional story. Dorothy and Albert deal with a set of changes in their marriage. Could these changes improve or make things worse? Let’s find out. Today, we start off with her side of the story. Tomorrow, we’ll touch his. Enjoy.
Dorothy was not one of those women to be trifled with. She was a good natured smart witty woman who lived her life to the fullest. Sure, she had to drag her husband along, but that was the way it was. Men were naturally lazy, as far as Dorothy was concerned. They did the minimum work required to uphold a relationship.
Over the years, Dorothy learned to lean on her girlfriends and her own skills to move her family forward. Her great aunt had once counseled her that men were like overgrown babies who needed to be pampered and carried along. That advice had saved her life and made her marriage work.
As the dutiful wife that she was, Dorothy did all she could do carry her husband. There were limits however. Somethings a woman should not have to do for a man. This was not the agrarian days of housekeeping. To that end, Dorothy kept a running list of chores, responsibilities, and challenges for her man to do. This would help him grow as a man and keep him focused on his priorities.
As expected, there was resistance. There were complaints. There was attitude, but Dorothy stayed the course. In time, her husband fell in line and behaved. He stopped going out late with his friends. He stopped taking calls from women she didn’t approve of. Video games became a thing of the past and his love of televised sports shrank to acceptable levels. After all, the Superbowl is a pastime Dorothy knew she was not going to take away from her husband.
Try as she might, Dorothy struggled to get her husband to follow her lead whenever a novel situation presented itself. There was this one time they were going on a trip out of state. The poor fella thought he could plan all the details better than Dorothy could. It took a lot of emotional arm wrestling to get him to calm down and go with the flow. Dorothy had a plan that would benefit everyone. There was no need for his meddling in her affairs.
So it was, Dorothy had to constantly assert her leadership because her husband refused to let go of his ego. All he had to do was say “yes dear” and agree. All would be well. It always was.
The home, her castle, was her playground. Dorothy didn’t appreciate having her husband take initiatives to improve the appearances of the home. It was her area to decorate and manage. After all, she had better taste. Try as she could to contain his mess to his den, Dorothy grew increasingly more annoyed with his constant need to provide his thoughts around the matters of the house.
Eventually, with the help of a few girlfriends, Dorothy leveled up her game. Her enlightenment helped her understand that her voice was very important. Too many compromises had been made to make a man happy. With increased resolve and determination, Dorothy mounted a campaign to make her husband understand her need for autonomy and self directive.
This meant having some self-care time where he was responsible for keeping the place from burning down. Dorothy needed those moments to address herself without interruptions. There were consequences for not having her space and time respected. Furthermore, Dorothy started to let nature take it’s course around her husband’s actions. She was not going to carry him across his finish line. That was his job.
The whole bedroom arrangement was changed as well. Dorothy took ownership of her own body’s needs. There was no more waiting around for her husband to read her signals. Dorothy took charge. If she wanted affection, she took it. She had needs, she got them met. There was no more asking for permission or requesting attention. Depending on a man for pleasure was dumb.
As far as Dorothy was concerned, life improved greatly with her taking more complete ownership of her life. Stress levels dropped, her social life improved, sleep quality improved, and a general sense of empowering rose. With great delight, Dorothy tackled many areas of her marriage that she thought needed improving and pushed her agenda forward with great success.
Friends started to ask her for advice on how to train their husbands and put them in line. With a sense of mission, Dorothy gladly helped her friends understand their power, their worth, and their autonomy. Seeing how much happier her friends were motivated Dorothy to do more to improve her own life as well as that of her friends.
The changes became a bit of a movement. Word got out. People started connecting with Dorothy online asking for advice and help. An empowerment movement was taking shape. Dorothy was thrilled that her voice was making a significant impact.
One evening, after a round of conversations with friends, someone pointed out to Dorothy that her feminist ways was a game changer. This was the first time that Dorothy had heard such a connection. She had not thought of herself as a feminist before. It did make sense however. The empowerment of women to be treated as equals to men was what she was after. Playing in the shadows of a man was not the best way to manifest one’s talents and dreams in this world.
Before that moment, Dorothy had been told that being a feminist was a bad thing. It ruined marriages. It made men bitter and resentful. It created confusion for children. It was a movement designed to trample men. These images did not fit into the ideals that Dorothy wanted. She wanted her voice to matter. She wanted to be an equal partner in life. She wanted to make an impact.