What’s the point here… there is one, right?
The holidays are plenty stressful as it stands. Putting more pressure is not going to make things move smoothly either. A conversation is needed. That way, expectations are not dashed and relationships broken prematurely. (Not discounting the many relationships that shouldn’t have started and are mercifully put to rest this time of year)
Talk to your date. Talk to your significant other. Don’t hold punches or get petty. Speak as a sane rational normal human being and share your understanding of what you’d like to have happen during the holiday season.
Imagine that. Talking
Not the talking at or down to the other. Just frank open dialog with the person you say you love… or care deeply about. You’d probably surprise yourself to find out they’re on the same page as you are.
Many times, it’s that fear of the unknown that rears it’s ugly head and messes things up. Fear that the signal being sent by meeting the family is that things are definitely heating up straight down the aisle. By talking, you’d find out the other isn’t ready to dash to the altar. Maybe, they’re ok with not meeting the family yet.
Why break up because you’re not talking openly.
Wait… people do talk, ya know
Yes. People talk. Some talk with hidden agendas.
Of course I don’t expect to meet your family, we just started silly… but how dare you not assume I wanted to meet them
Others talk openly and find out that the other is not on the same page as they are. That’s fine. Better to find out late than too late or never. Although it would have been nice to find out before feelings were caught. But that’s life.
It’s not often easy to say to someone “hey, I feel you and just want a three month fling”. But if that’s what you’re about, say so. And if along the way, you change your mind, say so too.
Being open and understanding where one stands makes a big difference.
So, what do you do if you’re getting dumped during the holidays?
This is not relationship advice here(that can be arranged for an epic post at a later date). But, if you’re getting dumped right before or during the holiday madness, it’s not the end of the world. You were spared far worse. No thinking you’re safe and things are going super well and find out on January 3rd you’re left behind just like the New Year’s resolution they promised to keep.
They’re not for you. Does not say you’re bad or unlovable or horrible. Just not the person they need. Now you’re free to enjoy the holidays on your term on your turf and start the new year fresh. Sure, that sounds cold and callus. But it’s not any less true.
Here is the nicer version. It sucks to have your heart broken during the holidays. Thankfully, humans do heal and bounce back. This is not how all your future holidays will look and now the jerk is out of your life. Time to move on and be your better self.
Ok. Got it. Jitters though?
Yeah. Many do these rash decisions are based on fear. The topic of another blog post. They rushed into love because it was cuffing season and now the bill is due, they’re scared, and want out. So they bail.
Holidays have so many rituals, habits, and so many loved ones involved. Some just can’t handle it all at once. Even the married folks have that issue, but on a different scale for a different blog post (which families to attend first, what gifts to get or regift, how long to visit, etc). Let’s not forget the couples who happen to roll into the holiday season in the middle of a huge weeks long battle that they don’t want anyone to see… because they’ll resolve it eventually and don’t want outsiders meddling. But I digress.
Love has many perspectives. Just make sure you and yours are on the same wavelength and this holiday season will be one of joy and festivities instead of unanswered questions soaked in tears.