The Habit of Building Romance

romance habit 2

Romantic phone?? Really??

When not around the lady of one’s affection, purposefully set reminders to bring her to mind. These reminders will prompt the average Joe to send a kind text out of the blue or pick up a thank you card out of the random blue. Set as many reminders throughout the week as needed so that the lucky lady feels that you care.

Of course, not all women respond to text messages and thank you cards. In that case, set the reminder to something that works for the lady… like a phone call… or a photo of one’s goofy smile… or a video message of “I miss you”.

By setting these reminders early in the week, like a Monday after reading this post, one has a better chance of actually doing these things during the course of the week.

One thing about the phone, when in the presence of your lady, put the phone away! Preferably on airplane mode. Give your lady your undivided attention. You’re trying to be romantic and present. Do not let the phone be a distraction. Anytime you pick up the phone, you’re sending the message that something is more important than your time with your lady. Is that the message you want to send?

ladies, you’re not guilt free here… put that phone down when your man is focused on you. When he feels he’s competing with your phone, your phone wins… and you lose the guy. You’re welcome.

The phone is good to plan out romantic reminders and to keep track of what is important to her. The phone should not be visible or heard when you’re with her… because that will defeat all the efforts made leading up to being with your lady.

By the way, this applies to new romance as well as long standing mature romances. One on one time is to be treated as special. For those who feel their lives are super hectic, be sure to have set phone-free times. Date night is not phone multi-tasking night.

Habit formation

Repetition is the mother of learning, many have said. So, to become romantic on purpose, one has to do romantic things on a regular basis. You’ve got to repeat over and over and over again until you get really good at doing romance automatically.

Think of things like pulling a chair, opening a door, texting that you got to work safely, or calling that you got home safely (for those who do not yet live together), and the list goes on.

But here is a word of caution about habits. They get easily comfortable and predictable. The very thing that allows an individual to succeed when they have the right habits is the very thing that stagnates a relationship. Think about it.

The habit of romance is about the principle of being romantic on purpose. The details require variety. That’s the spice of life that keeps a relationship lit. Each week, a new set of romantic things need to be done. Like the song says, if you love her… find 100 ways to show her. (badly paraphrased to make the point clear).

That means one can’t keep sending the same text “I am thinking of you” and expect it to always feel romantic. People acclimate to things. Keep it fresh. One week, it may be “I’m thinking of you” the next week… point out one thing in particular that you’re thinking about. Then, the week after that, something else. Mix it up. Change it up.

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