Too Fast?

During this current pause in writing production on this blog, popping in to say hello and share a few thoughts. I wasn’t ready to juggle a blog and all these off-line life events that is consuming my commitment bandwidth. You all are awesome fans and readers. I will be back to my usual soon. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! Now on to my short-ish blurb today.


Too Fast?

Is there really something like too fast? Can one ever have too much speed? Well, yes and no. It all depends. If you’re shooting to break speed records, clearly, you aren’t going fast enough if you’re not come close to the speed of light. However awesome as that is, in matters of the heart, speed is not for everyone.

How does this speed thing work

The ability to fall in love is not speed sensitive or speed limited. Anyone can feel like they’ve fallen in love in matters of seconds. The biochemical reaction needed to feel like you’ve fallen in love happens in less than a second sometimes.

If you’ve ever felt that sinking feeling. That pit in the stomach. That ache. That crave. Then you’ve had that experience of falling in love for someone before. Same feelings can also happen when you fear or dread someone or something.


Yes, the feelings may all be the same. The biochemical reactions are very similar. Love and hate are practically identical in the chemical sense of things. Why else would one feel so nervous and clammy when they’re around the person they’re crushing on… while at the same time feeling the same when asked to give a speech in front of a huge auditorium… or confront the most hated bully face to face?

So…what’s the difference then?

The main difference is the mind. The mind has to decide what the feelings mean. That is in part colored by the lens one uses to see the world.

This plays a huge role in commitment strategies.

Say again?

Yes. Commitment strategies.

Simply put, anyone at any point in life can fall in love. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single. Young or old. It happens.

How your mind decides to act on that is entirely up to you. Some folks can’t tell the difference between who they love and who they fall in love with. Many never learn to channel their feelings. Others never learn to resist their feelings. So, when they feel that attraction, they pursue. When that loving feeling is gone, they feel the relationship is over.

So, how does all of this relate to speed?

The person who can slow down long enough to process their feelings is the person who can make the better decision. How much one has to slow down varies greatly from circumstance to circumstance. What is true across all, one needs to have time to slow down and think.

Just because you feel that extreme burning desire to have an intimate moment with someone other than your spouse does not mean you have to have such a moment.

The person who can step back, figure out what their feelings mean, and make appropriate decisions, is the one who has their desired outcome.

While talking about thinking, it is possible to renew and rejuvenate the loving feeling you might have lost. It won’t come back the same, as that’s the nature of life, but it can come back just as strong if not stronger. Nothing says the feeling has to come back less than it was or inferior in quality to what was once had. It just is different because you’re at a different place in life.

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