A Case Study: Love vs Lust

Bobby and Sally – Version Two

Bobby was doing great in his world. Not one to rock the boat of life too much, he kept to himself and his computer programs. He understood code and it understood him. Women was just a complete mystery to him that left him dazed and confused half the time.

His plan was to rely on an app to find the perfect woman. In his heart of hearts he knew no such woman existed. He consoled himself in the fact he had a good friendship with his best friend Farah who had the hots for his other best friend, Ricky.

Over time, Farah had slowly drawn in her friend into their circle, Sally. Sally was very easy on the eyes and one in a while, Bobby’s heart would falter, stumble, and skip a beat around Sally. Nothing much came of it as they were just focused on getting through school. Besides, Sally had made it amply clear she was not looking for any relationship during the course of her schooling. She was old fashioned that way, and Bobby didn’t mind.

Despite being friends, Bobby couldn’t shake the attraction that was growing. He never acted on it because he didn’t want to mess anything up, but more importantly, he respected his friend’s wishes to have no relationship at this time. Not having any other feelings for any other lady, Bobby kept his boundaries tight and never crossed over.

Sally never told anyone how much she appreciated the respect and courtesy that Bobby showed. Unlike most guys who just loved way her booty bounced, she saw a gentleman who was not just respectful but also protective of her preferences. He did a good job of keeping other guys from trying too hard.

One day, Ricky felt he needed to discuss a few things about Farah. They had been dating a while and Ricky wanted to move things forward more and was not sure how to approach. Bobby listened closely. He didn’t draw any parallels to his feelings for Sally as that was not the most important thing to discuss in the moment. As he helped Ricky sort out the pros and cons of moving forward with Farah, he saw how his friend’s face lit up with excitement. He had indeed found his “one”

The conversation did prompt Bobby to do his own list of pros and cons. In his analysis, he found that he really liked being around Sally and that his list of “needs” and “wants” were being covered very well by Sally. Their life experiences had allowed them to discover many activities in common.

Later in a random chat with Farah, Bobby was pleasantly surprised to hear how everyone thought it was inevitable that Bobby and Sally would end up together. They looked perfect for each other. Yet, Bobby knew that Sally didn’t want a relationship until graduation. He opted to sign up for a project off-campus to take his mind off the growing attraction. Usually, when he crushed on someone or lusted after them, that cured his sentiments in no time.

Months later, when the project was over and his script won awards for their innovative angle to the problem, Bobby returned back home. He was so glad to be back to familiar territory. As he settled back in, he ran into his list of pros and cons. With a bit of a laugh, he reviewed the list and his heart ached a kind of ache that was tough to put into words. He really really liked Sally and felt like he was missing out on life more than he had ever felt while away.

The day the quad got together to laugh about their adventures apart, Bobby’s eyes locked on Sally’s smile and he knew in his heart he had to have her as his lady. There was no earthquake shattering of his dimensional plane of existence although there was definitely a tectonic shift. Sally made eye contact and smiled at him. Not her usual, Bobby remarked, but a degree of comfortable familiarity that only could mean one thing, she was feeling him too.

That was weird. He felt confident he understood her feelings. Not to press against her policy of no dating while in school, Bobby patiently carried on being a great friend without making any moves. If it was meant to be, it would take place after graduation. For the time being, he was going to live out his life and do as he felt he needed to do.

By the time they wrapped up their degree, it was clear to Bobby and Sally that they had a very strong connection. The facts lined up very well, the evidence became very hard to disprove. They had a thing going on and it was time to explore it.

Their conversations deepened and they figured out a way to get to know each other during the transition out of school to the workforce. With each challenge that came, they worked it out. Their bond grew. Their desires grew too. When it got so hot it was nearly unbearable, they both had a heart to heart and discovered that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

Bobby proposed shortly thereafter and by the time announcements were made, most people teased them saying “about time”. No one seemed to mind that they skipped the whole casual dating part. No one seemed to notice that they skipped the whole drama of gamesmanship others struggled with. Bobby and Sally appeared to be totally meant for each other.

When asked what was their trick for such overnight success in love, both looked puzzled. To them, this had been years in the making. Lots of baby steps that allowed them to grow together. When the heat turned into passionate fire, all the preliminaries had already been covered and the only logical steps left was to commit to one another. Wedding plans didn’t take long to follow and make their commitment official.

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