Some people thing that planning moments of romance is not romantic. Something about planning seems to take away the spontaneous vibe of a romantic event. Almost suggesting that the best romantic moments are the ones that aren’t planned.
This blog doesn’t agree. Some of the most romantic moments do take planning. Just look online at some of the most romantic proposals, dates, weddings, and anniversaries. It’s full of complex events that clearly required a lot of planning to work.
A little romantic planning is still romantic
Not sure if it’s a sign that society has gotten lazy or not, but people champion the spontaneous acts of romance as the ultimate in display of love.
Not everyone is so gifted to come up with masterpiece moments out of thin air… all random… and stuff.
Most of us will need a little help planning ahead to be romantic. Some of us will need help making our plans look spontaneous as well.
Whatever perspective you have on love, there is an element of work that can be planned in advance… to make romance work.
Just a little investigative planning…
There was an author, when I was a child, who said something along the lines of the following:
listen not just to hear, but to gain the nuggets and pearls of needs you can plan on delivering… to make your romance amazing
While the exact wording has long eluded me, the lesson has stayed with me. If we listen to our partners, looking for those clues that teaches what they need, we can then be prepared to deliver the needs better than anyone else.
If your partner is always talking about their love of chocolate, it’s not hard to think of what they like to munch on… chocolate. By asking a few clarifying question, we can quickly find out what type of chocolate they want.
This is where planning then comes to shine. We can place in our favorite planner little reminders to get chocolate out of the random blue for our partners.
Example. This month is January, everyone is on top of resolutions. Place a note in the calendar for June to buy a box of their favorite chocolate. (assuming there is no anniversary or special moment in June, this will appear to be a spontaneous gesture).
Granted, not everything needs to be planned, however, one can use planning to their advantage to make romance shine and work very well.
But… doesn’t planning ahead take away from the specialness of romance?
Thanks to romantic cinema, the value of being spontaneous is highly glorified. The last second bouquet of floors. The last second booked restaurant where only the two of you eat undisturbed with a live band.
That works great in movies and television shows. However, in real life, all of these things take time to plan. Romance is and will always be work. Just doesn’t always feel like work.
What is really spontaneous then?
The little words and messages you share expressing your love. The random text, the random smile, the random hug, the random kiss. Those things that take very little time to put together and deliver are the true spontaneous acts. Those are driven by emotions and the moment.
Expressing yourself is really something that doesn’t require planning. However, with some planning, even better expressions can take place.
Just think how much more effective a discussion can be if it’s planned for a quiet moment of no interruptions instead of just randomly happening on the train platform during rush hour.
To make romance feel super special, one needs to invest time and effort along with some resources to really make it shine all special and delightful.
No one ever complained that a romantic moment was too over planned… when it’s executed well and with the other’s feeling as top of mind. Just think of the last gorgeous wedding you attended.
This week, take a little time to plan something romantic for the person you love. Doesn’t have to be earth shattering huge, but something nice.
Most people scratch their head to find out what is romantic for their partner… but when you’re used to listening for the little nuggets of truth that they need, you’re equipped with everything you need to deliver spectacularly.
Take time today to plan something nice for this week. Make it worth their time. Make it sweet. And when they receive it, they’ll most likely feel it’s spontaneous, because they didn’t know you were planning it all along this week.
A little romantic planning is still romantic when you’re doing this to make your partner super happy.
Cheers to all the planners who put in the work to keep romance alive. For all those who are great at doing the spontaneous romantic deal, your work is appreciated… and you can share tips to help the rest of us plan to look spontaneous.
For your reading pleasure, a sampled list of other Motivational Monday post will be added below. Just click on the title or image to get to the post of interest.
Appreciate any sharing of these posts you’re inclined to do. Helps spread the word.
- The Habit of Building Romance - It may take two to tango, but each person has to have the purpose of tangoing. Relationships require both purpose/goals and habits/routines of success. But, this does not take away from originality, art, science, and spontaneous acts. The habit of building romance is the foundation...
- Partnership – I win because you win - Sure, it takes two to tango. However, most do not fully understand what that means. Working together to make a relationship work involves keeping the gossipers out... Plus it means practicing a lot before making dreams and goals come true. Then, the tango will work beautifully and amaze everyone. You win by making sure your partner wins
- The Fabulous Circle - Everyone is influenced by someone. This included relationships. They're influenced by others as well. what's in your average? Who does your relationship spend the most time with.. and what's the influence?
- Slowly Raise the Bar - Complacency ruins romance. The only way to keep love alive and well... raise the bar of your romance game every week, every month, every year. Do better. Surround yourself with positive folks. Then... make your romance great on purpose
- Syncing up relationship goals - Many have personal goals for the year. But few have relationship goals for the year. Like... in working together towards one goal. A look at teamwork to make the dream work by syncing up New Year Resolutions. Kicking off the new year! Best Wishes
- Finding common ground instead of compromising in love - We're taught to chase the best in everything except romance. We have to compromise there... and settle some. No longer. Find the common ground and build up from there. We deserve the best and can build to have it. Better perspective on love for the year
- A little romantic planning is still romantic - Being spontaneous doesn't mean being without a plan. Look ahead.. and figure what you can do to enhance your romance Plan ahead. But listen as well to know what to plan
- Now that the season of resolutions is done… - Many have stopped working on their resolutions. Many are accepting defeat. But not us. Now you. We're going strong. Sharing a few goals, dreams, and projects currently going strong.
To conclude this post, below will be a list of the various Motivation Monday projects… sorted by years… for those who would like to binge read any of the posts they might have missed in the past.
Thanks for the time you took to visit and appreciate this blog.
The collection of all the Motivational Monday posts focused on Relationships up to the year 2018
Kicking off the year early with the table of contents for all future Relationship Monday posts. Setting the goals high and aiming to win