With the start of a new year, it’s the season of well wishes and resolutions. The kind that feels great and hopefully will last through the year. The hopeful thinking we do on a regular but don’t fully think we’ll keep a whole year.
Well, those are good to have. Being healthy, wealthy, happy, fit, and the likes. While some don’t make new year’s resolutions, not pointing fingers at myself, fewer still make relationship resolutions.
This is not ignoring those who hope, wish, and pray to be in relationships. They have their own concerns and valid resolutions in play. That will be covered in another post. For this one, we’re going to look at what some couples do for their new year’s resolutions
Syncing up relationship goals
It’s beautiful to have personal goals. It’s great to be able to keep them past the month of January. It’s another complete different beast to have joint synced goals as a couple.
Should couples have joint goals? This blog thinks so. It’s more fun to work on goals together in the cold of winter than alone.
Example: The goal is to run an eight minute mile (not a personal goal of this writer). In the cold of winter, going out daily to run can feel a bit lonely for some. While doable, sometimes the warmth of the comforter is highly appealing.
However, if there are two people working towards the same goal, it’s a bit harder to have both want to skip a run at the same time. Especially when one doesn’t want to be responsible for stopping the goal from being reached.
Working as a team will make reaching the goal easier, generally speaking.
But… we’ve never synced up our goals before…
It’s often surprising to hear why people do not work with their significant other towards goals.
“They’ll slow me down”
“We don’t want the same things”
“They’re not going to do it my way”
Being out of sync is one of the primary reasons why relationships grow apart. This is not saying that we should always be on the same page on every single thought. However, big headline ideas should be similar between two people.
This year, if you’ve never set joint goals, would be a great year to try working with your lover to achieve some jointly set goals.
The working together builds teamwork experience. Long lasting relationships know how to work together on key goals. If this is your first time working as a team, this may not be the time to work on key crucial goals. Just pick something you’d like to achieve.
Most people try massive goals and set themselves up to fail. To set a generic goal is more like wishing into thin air. However, making something more concrete and practical has a greater chance of success.
Example: We will work together to set time each week to date each other. A minimum of an hour a week for the next twelve weeks.
Having specificity, a time table, a measurable goal, that is clear will be easier to reach than some nebulous random goal of becoming thinner.
Just remember to be gentle with yourself during the syncing process
Most new year’s resolutions start of real strong. People get all excited. They feel will power is all they need. Sadly it’s not.
Having community support, having cheer-leading voices, having accountability partners, and having tenacity are just a few of the ingredients needed to make a resolution last a year.
This blog is taking the position that it is best to shorten the time window of jointly set goals to increase the success odds.
Instead of a year’s worth of dating, which can almost feel daunting for some, take it a month at a time with perpetual extensions. In time, you’ll have a year’s worth of dating under your belt.
By the way, for some, this goal of dating each other for a year sounds silly. Bless you! For others, they’ve been in a relationship so long they’ve forgotten what a date looks like. This isn’t just the plight of long term married folks either.
When syncing up goals in a relationship, just remember to be extra kind and gentle with the process and with each other.
This is not the time to point fingers and name call. It’s not the time to yell. It’s not the time to be critical.
When working towards joint yearly goals, it’s best to be patient, sweet, supportive, and work out the details slowly and steadily. Then, as you both figure out your styles, give each other the benefit of the doubt and work towards the goals together.
View the practice more as a chance to learn about each other and help each other win than a chore that has to be endured.
The quality of the communication between each other will make a huge difference in helping you reach your goals, let alone agreeing on which goal to reach.
While this author isn’t big on setting new year’s resolutions, there are always plans for a new year. Most of them are already in motion well before this blog post was written and scheduled to come out in the new year.
One of the goals for this year is to create more useful content on a more consistent level for the readers of this blog. The plan is to encourage your romance, not matter the stage of existence. As well as entertain you with some good quality romance reading content as a bonus.
There will be some new concepts to be tried and shared with you all. The blog will slowly get a small makeover to improve search and organization.
But, no matter how much this is great for the blog, the main goal is to improve the connection to my lady this year while keeping up with my children and writing ambitions.
Yes, I do have way too much on the plate, but that’s just the story of my life. However, the priority is to always maintain my most dearest of relationships as healthy as possible. Without these, all other successes feel less because there isn’t someone to share it with.
As you’re working on perfecting your relationship’s perspectives, be sure to talk with your significant other and remain as in sync as you can be. The two of you will need each other’s support from time to time. Not understanding what to support takes away from the ability to support adequately.
Wishing you all a wonderful amazing year. Hoping to continue building the relationship we have… as writer/reader. Most of all, may your love grow and glow prosperously. See you next week for another Relationship Monday post.
For your reading pleasure, a sampled list of other Motivational Monday post will be added below. Just click on the title or image to get to the post of interest.
Appreciate any sharing of these posts you’re inclined to do. Helps spread the word.
- The Habit of Building Romance - It may take two to tango, but each person has to have the purpose of tangoing. Relationships require both purpose/goals and habits/routines of success. But, this does not take away from originality, art, science, and spontaneous acts. The habit of building romance is the foundation...
- Partnership – I win because you win - Sure, it takes two to tango. However, most do not fully understand what that means. Working together to make a relationship work involves keeping the gossipers out... Plus it means practicing a lot before making dreams and goals come true. Then, the tango will work beautifully and amaze everyone. You win by making sure your partner wins
- The Fabulous Circle - Everyone is influenced by someone. This included relationships. They're influenced by others as well. what's in your average? Who does your relationship spend the most time with.. and what's the influence?
- Slowly Raise the Bar - Complacency ruins romance. The only way to keep love alive and well... raise the bar of your romance game every week, every month, every year. Do better. Surround yourself with positive folks. Then... make your romance great on purpose
- Syncing up relationship goals - Many have personal goals for the year. But few have relationship goals for the year. Like... in working together towards one goal. A look at teamwork to make the dream work by syncing up New Year Resolutions. Kicking off the new year! Best Wishes
- Finding common ground instead of compromising in love - We're taught to chase the best in everything except romance. We have to compromise there... and settle some. No longer. Find the common ground and build up from there. We deserve the best and can build to have it. Better perspective on love for the year
- A little romantic planning is still romantic - Being spontaneous doesn't mean being without a plan. Look ahead.. and figure what you can do to enhance your romance Plan ahead. But listen as well to know what to plan
- Now that the season of resolutions is done… - Many have stopped working on their resolutions. Many are accepting defeat. But not us. Now you. We're going strong. Sharing a few goals, dreams, and projects currently going strong.
To conclude this post, below will be a list of the various Motivation Monday projects… sorted by years… for those who would like to binge read any of the posts they might have missed in the past.
Thanks for the time you took to visit and appreciate this blog.
The collection of all the Motivational Monday posts focused on Relationships up to the year 2018
Kicking off the year early with the table of contents for all future Relationship Monday posts. Setting the goals high and aiming to win