The other passion…
The secret was out. He loved ballroom dancing. She did not. It was his only escape, the one place where he felt like he was able to make choices and have a lady follow. Not that there was anything wrong with a lady leading her relationship. But he was tired. He wanted to be able to lead some of the time. And the ballroom was the only place he felt competent enough to lead.
Rubbish! Total nonsense! Lies too! She was not hearing any of this. Her man was to fall back in line and resume the romance as it stood before this mess.
With a sigh, he shrugged his shoulders. At least they weren’t going to fight tonight. The jig was up. The fun was over. Next month would begin the journey to figure another passion that wouldn’t collide with his primary passion called marriage.
“So, why though… why dancing… why with her?”
He was too tired. There was no fight in him. “Why can’t I dance?”
She had no good answer other than she didn’t care for ballroom. Why couldn’t he do interpretive jazz dance, which she liked way more.
There was no quick solution for this problem. Passions do collide at times. Working through the process of compromise means never sitting on frustrations and discomfort for long. That only complicates things when they surface later. Emotions have a strange way of resurfacing in a changed and convoluted way. Unpacking them later is that much harder than dealing with them in the moment.
In this story, the colliding passions were not the most dangerous of varieties, but that could have ended up being the case. How do you juggle the division of emotional labor in a marriage so that both parties feel fulfilled and happy? How do you tackle time apart and balance it with time together? Forget mixing in children into the mix.
Instead of a clean resolution to this blog post, maybe leaving this as a cliffhanger for the time being may be ideal. There is no quick fix. However, so long as you’ve not crossed the point of no-return, there is hope to recover and realign passions so that love continues to thrive.
Love has ups and downs. Moments when you’re flat out frustrated by the person you most deeply love. How you handle those moments will have a huge impact on how well the love will survive and live to thrive another day.
Be good and kind to your lover. Be sure to always replenish the relationship, the future depends on what you do today… just like today was shaped by the decisions you’ve made yesterday. Stay mindful! Present! And stay in the zone of happy love.