Back to Fatigue
When one is tired, one can overlook normal boundaries and get very demanding of their partner. This is where damages get compounded. This is where arguments heat up to massively disrespectful levels. This is where abuse often gets even more dangerous.
Nerves run raw when tired. Emotions run hot when tired. Rational thinking runs low. Patience runs out. Love seems to give way to greed and lust.
The single biggest gift you can give your partner when you’re tired is a break. Back off. Go handle your own fatigue productively. Recharge. Then return to help your partner regroup and recharge.
Give your relationship a fighting chance. Be cool. Be kind. Help your partner out by taking care of all you can about yourself first.
That way, they don’t feel like they’re nurturing an overgrown demanding child. You’re an adult. Act like one. Be reasonable.
While typing all of this, I’m very definitely aware that sometimes you just want what you want. I am very aware that sometimes the heart only needs that little extra something from your partner to be good. But, when your partner can’t do what you want, life doesn’t end. You’d have kept on living if you were single anyway. Not saying do without a conversation or negotiation. But what I’m saying is that until you reach that compromise that does work, don’t stop living. Don’t stop caring. Don’t’ stop being romantic. Don’t stop being a man!
Keep doing what you’re supposed to do while you negotiate. Women can’t deal with guys who just withhold love as a manipulation tool to get their way. We men are quick to call out women we suspect of doing that to us. Why do it to them?
It is not always easy. It can be outright very frustrating and make you question your sanity. However, by playing the long game, many a disasters can be averted. That’s being a man in tough situations… allowing her to be a lady in the same tough situation.
As I struggle to find the right way to end this blog post, I don’t have all the answers. I do know that many guys hold very outdated and no longer useful mindsets that create a lot of the drama in their love lives. I also know it is not always the guy’s fault like many women want to believe. A relationship requires two people at all times. And the process by which both take care of each other has an impact on how both feel. Sometimes, that is just nearly impossible. Other times it’s a peace of cake.
Whatever it may be, one thing is for sure… it will not be all roses all the time. There will be thorns. That’s just the way things go. Too bad it’s not as easy as turning off the switch on the desires and moving along without them. That would make things a whole lot simpler. But alas, feelings are just naturally messy-ish.
In closing… be mindful of your level of fatigue. That plays a huge role in just how effective you are as a partner. Do yourself and your partner a favor, before you negotiate for your needs, check in to make sure you’re not suffering from fatigue. It may well be the determining factor in how successful your negotiations turn out to be.
There is another version of this topic I wrote on www.through1lens.com that covers the other silent killer of romance… stress